Mysterious Ways
by Ron Dow75
Summary: Ranma, Pantyhose Taro, and the "One-Pound Gospel" about Juusenkyo.


Mysterious Ways   
  
By Ron Dow75   
  
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Akane was mad, "Leave it to you, Ranma, to get us   
  
separated from the rest of the class! Now we have to walk   
  
HOME from the field trip! And it's KILOMETERS!"   
  
This was a low-rent commercial street, and there weren't   
  
any walls for the pigtailed girl to walk on, "You DIDN'T   
  
have to follow me! In FACT, it was stupid! What could YOU   
  
do to save a drownin' man? You can't swim!!"   
  
"I know how to swim! A bit. I've had a few lessons after   
  
my time with Miss Hinako. And don't change the subject! You   
  
DID need me: That SO-called drowning man you were swept   
  
down river with wouldn't stop groping you!" But now they   
  
were near the slow moving river and older levee that the   
  
smaller one through Nerima connected to.  
  
"I've dealt with gropers before! I--" Suddenly a shadow   
  
rushing past on the ground caught Ranma's girl-keen eyes.   
  
Without saying a word to Akane, the redhead bounded across   
  
the street and used the windows of a building to reach its   
  
roof, two-stories at a time.   
  
Akane at last saw what Ranma had seen: A large, dark,   
  
monstrous form she knew all too well. "Pantyhose Taro!"   
  
///   
  
Ranma ran across, and leaped rooftops, keeping pace with   
  
the flying patchwork as best she could. "Pantyhose Taro! I   
  
haven't seen the arrogant jerk since he came back to splash   
  
Happosai with water from one of Juusenkyo's accursed   
  
springs." The part yeti, part bull, part crane, part eel,   
  
part octopus--and who knew WHAT else he'd added!--slowed   
  
down. It was like the jerk freak was looking for something.   
  
Happosai? "Geez! I KNEW it! The idiot IS carrying a jug of   
  
something clear like water! Didn't he learn ANYTHING from   
  
last time!?"   
  
When she approached the end of the three-story gym roof,   
  
she saw that next wasn't another building, but a street   
  
then a parking lot. She would've preferred to just see what   
  
Pantyhose Taro was up to. But if he got away, she might NOT   
  
find out until it was too late. She jumped! "I hope he   
  
hasn't added anything ELSE to his personal zoo of weapons!"   
  
She just managed to snag one of the monster's hooves!   
  
Looking down, it took a second for the creature to   
  
recognize who WOULD dare touch this form. Snorting   
  
contemptuously, it brought its other hoof towards the   
  
redhead in Chinese clothes.  
  
But Ranma let go of one leg to reach out and got up on its   
  
other. "Land, Pantyhose Taro, and we can talk! I mean,   
  
AFTER we find some hot water." Like every cursed animal   
  
form she'd met, he couldn't talk when he wasn't human.   
  
The beast's answer was to bring its slippery eel tail   
  
down towards the pigtailed girl. Its mouth open.  
  
Ranma swung her legs away from it, around to the   
  
creature's downside. She used the knee of its other leg to   
  
push herself up its torso. Using her speed, she quickly   
  
clambered along it by hugging its body and clutching the   
  
tufts of its thick, dark brown hair. "Pantyhose Taro, maybe   
  
I can HELP you!!" But the bullheaded creature, literally and   
  
figuratively, wouldn't listen. It wrapped one of the   
  
tentacles that grew from its back around the girl who   
  
insulted it by repeating that mockery of a name.   
  
But Ranma was taken close enough by its bull horns to   
  
grab on. She held on with all her strength. If she let go,   
  
she had little doubt the creep would throw her to the   
  
ground.   
  
But it was no good: Its octopus had the strength of the   
  
rest of the patchwork monster. Ranma lost one handhold. But   
  
remembering the most basic, and dirtiest, of martial arts   
  
moves, she used that freed hand grab one of its bull-ears.   
  
The beast bellowed, and reared back, its tentacle   
  
constricting Ranma. When Ranma applied the same pressure to   
  
the ear, it reacted by swinging right yeti-fist at the   
  
small girl.   
  
Ranma focused the might of her small fists at just the   
  
right nerve points between the massive knuckles. It blunted   
  
the blow. But reflexively, it caused it to open the hand.   
  
The twine loop of the net that held the jug of water was   
  
released.   
  
Noticing the movement, and remembering WHY she had   
  
gotten involved in the first place, Ranma snagged it   
  
between her feet. "Let me go, or it gets broken!"   
  
The callow youth inside took few people seriously. It   
  
grabbed backed the jug as its tentacle yanked Ranma away.   
  
Ranma held on. But the yeti-bull was stronger. Soon all   
  
that Ranma had in her bare feet was the cork.   
  
The cork came out! The monster reacted by letting go of   
  
Ranma to get away from being splashed. Whatever was inside   
  
was something the freak DIDN'T want added to its mix!  
  
Ranma fell with the rain of cursed water. Thinking that   
  
saving the jug may give her something to bargain with, she   
  
cradled it in her arms. But she knew she had been cursed   
  
again. Something was growing between her shoulder blades.   
  
And strained against her sleeveless shirt. "Am I getting   
  
octopus arms like it!?!" Pantyhose Taro had GIVEN himself   
  
those! He LIKED being a freak!   
  
Whatever they were, they were trying to bust out of the   
  
back of her shirt!   
  
R-RIP! And then they had!!  
  
Still adjusting to her new form, Ranma somehow landed   
  
softly on her feet in another parking lot.   
  
The monster came down. A tentacle snaked out and took   
  
back the jug from the dazed Ranma. Satisfied that there was   
  
enough of the cursed water left in it for its purposes, it   
  
turned its back on the freakish redhead. But before it   
  
left, it made sure it hit her hard with its wings before it   
  
flapped away.   
  
Ranma automatically rolled, before falling to her hands   
  
and knees onto the pavement.  
  
After that the only sound out of the ordinary in this   
  
isolated industrial area was the sound of a passing guy   
  
reciting, "One, two! Left, RIGHT! Welter, Weight! Junior,   
  
LIGHT!" It was while Ranma was recovering from the shock   
  
and her change that the jogger discovered her. "Wow! I   
  
recognize what SHE is! I saw people like her in Sister's   
  
books!" The muscular nineteen-year-old in red sweats ran up   
  
to Ranma. He helped her up. Smiling, the well-built guy   
  
with the brown hair that was less shaggy than hers said,   
  
"You're my angel of fortune, aren't you?"   
  
Angel? It was only then that it clicked in Ranma's head   
  
what had happened to her. Spreading her large, white wings   
  
to their fullest extent, she looked over her shoulder.   
  
Though she could feel them, it wasn't until she could SEE   
  
them for herself that she could, at last, be convinced of   
  
what had happened had really happened.   
  
The guy said, "Beautiful! I can see why Christians   
  
prefer you to our gods. Oh, that's right: Sister!" His mitt   
  
still clutching Ranma's smaller hand, he started dragging   
  
her after him, "You HAVE to meet Sister Angela!" His arm   
  
rose as Ranma's outstretched wings acted as gliders.   
  
Ranma from above cried, "Hold on, fella! I ain't no   
  
angel! Let go of me! I have a monster I to catch!"   
  
The idiot didn't stop until there was a tug on his   
  
upraised arm. This surprised him. Until he realized, "Of   
  
course! You have God-lent powers!"   
  
"I don't! It's these magic swan wings! The punk freak   
  
has crane wings, and they can hold up HIS great weight!"   
  
Ranma pulled, lifting the idiot centimeters off the ground.   
  
"So with these wings it isn't hard to lift YOUR weight up!"   
  
At least he didn't seem to notice the flashes of the sides   
  
of her boobs.  
  
The guy held on even tighter, "Weight! See!?! Sister   
  
Angela DID send for you!! I'm Kosaku Hatanaka! You're here   
  
to see I stay in my in boxer's weight class! I'm the one   
  
you're here to save from the sin of gluttony!!"   
  
"I have NO idea what you're talkin' about, idiot!"   
  
lifting him higher.   
  
The guy "figured out" what the problem was, "I found you   
  
on the ground--You're a FALLEN angel! You lost your memory   
  
on your way to Earth!"   
  
"Idiot doesn't even BEGIN to describe this guy." Ranma   
  
used a pressure point on the guy's wrist to get him to   
  
release her.   
  
The guy landed running, "I won't let you go until you   
  
work your miracle! Make a wish come true!" What did the   
  
idiot think Ranma was, anyway? An oni? Grab the demon's   
  
horns and it HAS to grant you a wish? She didn't HAVE   
  
horns. She had stupid wings!   
  
Because of the magic of the curse, Ranma really didn't   
  
have to learn how to fly. But just because she knew how to   
  
use her new muscles with the ones she already had, didn't   
  
mean she LIKED it. The whole torso was involved, especially   
  
those connected to her breast bone. The only plus side was   
  
that it isolated her boobs and other female fat deposits,   
  
letting her almost forget about them. The trade off was it   
  
made her even MORE aware of the slimmer muscles and shape   
  
of her female form.   
  
The flapping wings further whipping the wind across her   
  
bare back, Ranma flew higher. Keeping herself focused on   
  
finding that jerk Pantyhose Taro would help her take her   
  
mind off of what had happened to her. And how it would   
  
effect the rest of her life. It couldn't be normal, in any   
  
way.  
  
Beyond the area of concrete buildings was a quiet,   
  
middle-class looking residential area with trees. But there   
  
was a dark form hovering over it. It was headed for a brick   
  
church on the hill. Grabbing air with her finger-like   
  
primary feathers, she sped towards it.   
  
The monster had apparently found what it had been after.   
  
"Don't let it be Happosai! He's bad enough as he IS!" And   
  
he COULD be in the area on a panty raid. Every woman   
  
around the Tendou's knew they had to guard their underwear   
  
against the lingerie thief.   
  
But it was a tall man about Ranma's pop's age with   
  
dirty, tattered martial arts clothes that revealed his colorful,   
  
mobster-style tattoos. If there was a guy who looked like he   
  
deserved being punished from above, he was it.   
  
And the monster was willing to do just that. Bellowing   
  
to put fear in the guy, it dove at him.   
  
Knowing that he could not escape, the man turned and   
  
stood his ground. On one leg. Talk about literal, Ranma   
  
thought. She recognized the style of martial arts. The guy   
  
was going to use his arms, hands and fingers like a bird   
  
used its wings.   
  
"Crane-style, hunh? So THAT'S what decided Pantyhose   
  
Taro to use the accursed water he brought to punish him.   
  
Geez! Over a hundred springs, and there wasn't ONE of   
  
drowned crane? Was swan the closest he could get, or did he   
  
just screw up again?" No time for that, now. Ranma pulled   
  
in her wings and dove.   
  
Aiming between the monster's shoulder blades, she   
  
reached out and took its wings. Then, swinging her legs   
  
down onto its broad back, she yanked back with all her   
  
strength and held them still.   
  
Unable to use its wings, now the monster could no longer   
  
fly, despite its magic. It fell.   
  
Ranma held on, judging just when she could let go and   
  
use her own wings.   
  
But the monster used its octopus tentacles behind her to   
  
grab the nuisance, and throw her to the ground.   
  
Ranma did not land well. She landed on her left wing.   
  
The pain was very real.   
  
The monster roared when it saw that its quarry had used   
  
the distraction to get away. It flew after him. The chase   
  
continued. The crossdresser would have to be punished for   
  
interfering later.  
  
Ranma was on her feet, dealing with the pain, when that   
  
Kosaku guy in sweats appeared. He was barely winded from   
  
his long run, but he was smelly, "Angel! You're hurt! You   
  
have a bent wing!" The guy was right. Her right wing was   
  
folded up against her bare back, but her left was wouldn't   
  
close. There would be no FLYING after Pantyhose Taro.   
  
Unfortunately for Ranma, she was looking in the sky for   
  
any sign of the monster, leaving her open. Before she knew   
  
it, the guy had gotten her smaller body in a fireman's   
  
carry around his shoulders. He told he as he started   
  
running with her, "I'll take you to Sister Angela! She   
  
knows all about angels!"   
  
"You big oaf, put me down!"   
  
"What kind of a Good Samaritan would I be then?"   
  
"I don't NEED your help! You're lettin' the other jerk   
  
get away!!" It was no use. The idiot was bound and   
  
determined to do a good deed for an angel, or some such   
  
stupid logic. An ANGEL: Of course! "I'm an angel, right?   
  
You gotta do as I say, right?"  
  
He thought about it as he entered the brick gate of   
  
"Saint Maria Kindergarten". Then he said, "You're a FALLEN   
  
angel. Sister says we shouldn't believe fallen angels."   
  
Ranma groaned. She could break free of this big lummox,   
  
but his intentions were good. She didn't like hurting   
  
people unless they seemed to deserve it. "If your sister   
  
says its okay, you'll let me go?"   
  
As he headed for the blacktop playground, the guy said,   
  
"Of course! I ALWAYS try to do what Sister says." Now Ranma   
  
got it: She, as an angel, was a prize he was going to show   
  
to his big sister. Well, she hoped the girl had more sense   
  
than her brother.   
  
Instead of going into one of the one-story buildings   
  
with the classrooms, the guy took her into the small   
  
cafeteria. It was the first place that had come to his   
  
mind. Only when he got there, did he realize that perhaps a   
  
table wasn't the best place to lay an injured angel or   
  
person. He took Ranma from around his shoulders and sat her   
  
on one of the benches, "I'll go get--"   
  
A woman said, "Kosaku!"  
  
The guy smiled, "Sister!" Ranma recognized that look on   
  
the guy's face. Enough guys had given it to her. The guy   
  
had a crush on the woman. He had it bad. That was why he   
  
didn't pay any attention to Ranma's partially exposed   
  
breasts.   
  
Ranma pulled her shirt back, trying to keep covered up   
  
as best she could.  
  
Only then did Ranma look at the woman. Ranma didn't know   
  
much about Christians, but she knew a nun when she saw one.   
  
This one was dressed mainly in sky blue with white around   
  
her face and a white bib. Besides her face, only her hands   
  
and the legs just above her high button shoes showed.   
  
Briefly, Ranma wondered if the idiot knew something she   
  
didn't know. Do nuns date?   
  
The cute nun, who looked maybe 21, said, "Kosaku, what   
  
is this?" She didn't sound like she was certain whether she   
  
was going to believe Ranma was what she looked like.   
  
Kosaku said, "An ANGEL, Sister! A fallen angel!"   
  
Ranma got up, "I ain't no angel. And I didn't fall. I   
  
was THROWN outa the air."   
  
Sister Angela approached, "Tho, those wings aren't   
  
real?"   
  
This was it; this was the first of many, many times   
  
Ranma would have to answer that question. "Aw, geez, I wish   
  
I had something cleaver I could tell you. The truth is that   
  
these are just swan's wings."   
  
The problem with having living wings, they couldn't stay   
  
still. They just had to move, if just to twitch. The nun   
  
was tempted to reach out and touch them, "I see."   
  
Kosaku said, "Sister, you do have angel clothes?" Maybe   
  
he did notice.   
  
Sister Angela noticed, "Your shirt IS ripped. Perhaps   
  
one of the ladies that work here can sew it up for you. Er,   
  
with holes for the wings, of course."   
  
Ranma assured her, "That's alright. I have to get   
  
movin'. I have to catch, er, something."   
  
Kosaku told her, "Satan! The angel was battling the   
  
devil! I saw it myself!"   
  
Now the nun was REALLY becoming skeptical. "The Devil?"   
  
Kosaku went through the descriptive motions: "He was   
  
huge, with horns! He had a wings, a long tail--and hooves!"   
  
Ranma said, "Gee, the monster form does sound like   
  
Satan." She had certainly called it a demon when she first   
  
saw it. But she assured them, "It's just a yeti mixed up   
  
with a bull, and a crane...and an eel. Er, and an octopus   
  
has been added recently."   
  
The nun looked at her for a moment. "You expect me to   
  
believe that?"   
  
Ranma sighed, "If he hadn't been hit me over the head, I   
  
wouldn't believe it either."   
  
Kosaku said, "See, Sister? The angel is testing our   
  
faith."   
  
Sister Angela sighed, "Believing the thing you   
  
described, Kosaku, is the Devil is easier to believe than a   
  
yeti-bull-crane, uh, and the rest."   
  
Ranma had to concede, "Yeah. It does sound stupid." And   
  
it'd sound even MORE stupid if she told them it's name was   
  
"Pantyhose Taro". "Unfortunately, the mind inside isn't. I   
  
have to find him!"   
  
But the nun wouldn't let her pass, "What kind of Sister   
  
of Mercy would I be, if I let you leave in your condition?   
  
You're injured. At least let us tend to your wound." Her   
  
blush told Ranma she was also uncomfortable with the   
  
redhead's decency.  
  
Ranma told her, "That's okay. I'm a fast healer!"  
  
Kosaku wouldn't let his favorite nun be denied; putting   
  
a heavy hand on Ranma's shoulder, he said, "Sister knows   
  
what to do. Ever since God led me to her, she's been coming   
  
to the gym and boxing matches. She's seen how they match me   
  
up!" Yes, he did have more than his share of small scars,   
  
nicks and bruises.  
  
Ranma inside cursed them for being good-hearted people.   
  
It was a weakness. She let them lead her to the infirmary.   
  
Besides, she had no idea HOW she was going to catch up with   
  
Pantyhose Taro.   
  
Luckily, the few people they met along the way merely   
  
stopped to stare for a moment or three. Ranma didn't   
  
understand Christians, let alone Catholics. She didn't know   
  
she was considered a vision, and was helping Sister Angela   
  
on her road to sainthood. And the nun, being naturally   
  
modest, didn't comprehend that herself.   
  
(Of course, they did wonder what an angel was dressed in   
  
torn Chinese clothes was doing Japan. And was it proper for   
  
a divine being to be exposed like that?)  
  
In the small infirmary, mainly used to isolate children   
  
who may be contagious, Sister Angela bandaged Ranma's sore   
  
wing, "Since you seem to be going on a...dangerous mission,   
  
perhaps you'd like unburden yourself by confessing your   
  
sins first."   
  
Kosaku was confused, "Do angels sin?"   
  
Sister Angela said, "I'm pretty sure this one has." Then   
  
smiling to Ranma, she said, "Only God is perfect. There are   
  
confessional booths in the church, for privacy. If you'd   
  
like I could hear yours there."   
  
While Ranma was fixing her shirt with tape and pins, she   
  
asked, "Nuns can hear confession?"   
  
The sister blushed, "Well, we're a small parish, and   
  
don't have a resident priest. And though I'm not a full   
  
nun, but a novice, I have attended confessions. Among other   
  
things."   
  
Kosaku, apparently even MORE ignorant of things Catholic   
  
than even Ranma despite nearly a year of exposure, said,   
  
"Sister Angela told me once it was a Takahashi. It's just like   
  
how I can get away with breaking the rules of boxing.   
  
Everything is overlooked and forgiven, as long as it's a   
  
Takahashi!"  
  
Ranma didn't understand.   
  
That was when one of the civilian ladies, a mother-type,   
  
slammed open the door, "Sister! Sister Angela! The   
  
baptismal font in the church has been stolen!"   
  
The sister asked, urgently, "Do you have any idea WHO   
  
could have done it?!"   
  
"Fujita is calling the police. But I remember seeing a   
  
tall stranger with tattoos in the church!"  
  
Ranma cried, "Tattoos! It sounds like the guy Pantyhose   
  
Taro was after!"   
  
ALL three of the others looked at her strangely. Ranma   
  
held up a hand, "It's too complicated to explain."   
  
Sister Angela, heading for the church, said to the   
  
woman, "Since the mother abbess is still out of town with   
  
most of the other sisters, I guess I have to be in charge   
  
until we can find a sempai. Is there anything else you can   
  
tell me, Sakai?"  
  
  
  
The woman hesitated, then said, "Well, uh, he did take   
  
the font from its place, but, uh... He left something   
  
behind."  
  
Ranma said, "A clue!" She wasn't really very good at   
  
playing detective, but since she had no idea how to find   
  
Pantyhose Taro now that she was grounded, she had to try   
  
being one.   
  
///   
  
Ranma followed the young nun to just inside the exotic place   
  
called a church. What they wanted was at the entrance. To her   
  
it was like one of those fancy flower containers people   
  
hung on the wall. THIS one had behind the half bowl a robed   
  
woman with angel wings. (It would!)  
  
A couple of old ladies screamed when they saw Ranma in   
  
her wings and fell to their knees in the aisle, crossed   
  
themselves and prayed. Ranma had to ask herself if this was   
  
what she had to look forward to.   
  
Ranma hurried to assure them, when she slipped on a   
  
piece of paper.   
  
Her wings automatically worked to keep her from falling.   
  
The bandaged one couldn't help, and the right wing only   
  
banged up against a backs of a bench and caught under the   
  
desk in front of it.   
  
Twisting it out, she landed on the wings. Now she was   
  
worse off than before. The right wing was now too sore to be   
  
of any use as well.  
  
The piece of paper that had done brought her low   
  
fluttered down onto her.   
  
Sister Angela walked swiftly to her, "Are you alright?   
  
Do I need to bandage the other--"   
  
Ranma held up her hands, "No! I can get up by myself!"  
  
Sister Angela had stopped when she saw that something   
  
unusual was written on the paper.   
  
Picking it up, she read the handwritten note, " "Dear   
  
representatives of the Holy Father, as an act of penance   
  
for my many crimes and sins, I give the Church this holy   
  
water font. Please see that it is given to the nearest   
  
cathedral. I would have done it myself, but I am currently   
  
being chased by Satan, and had to lighten my burden.   
  
" "When I was a child I heard of a wondrous font that   
  
missionaries to the Chinese had carved from local stone   
  
found in the Quanjing Mountains."   
  
Ranma cried, "The Quanjing Mountains! That's where   
  
Pantyhose Taro's village is." Not to mention a certain   
  
accursed training ground.   
  
" "At great risk and sacrifice I managed to retrieve the   
  
font from the village which had claimed it after the church   
  
was closed when religion was outlawed in China..."  
  
Ranma said, "And he managed to get it all the way back   
  
around here before Pantyhose Taro caught up with him. Yours   
  
was the nearest church, so he put it here and lead the   
  
monster away from it." Maybe she did have some detective   
  
ability.  
  
(The smallest old lady asked, "Does all that mean   
  
pantyhose were created by the Devil?"   
  
(The other said, "I've often suspected that.")  
  
While this was going on, Kosaku got thirsty. Sister   
  
Angela cried, "Kosaku, holy water is not for DRINKING!" Too   
  
late, he'd ladled out some with his hands. Then she   
  
realized, "Did the repentant man pour the water from the   
  
old font he's hidden?"  
  
Smiling sheepishly, the big lug said, "I'm sorry,   
  
Sister, I forgot!" He returned as much of the water as he   
  
could. "I won't be cursed, or anything?"   
  
Ranma said, "If it's got anything to do with Juusenkyo--  
  
" She stopped when she realized that something HAD happened   
  
to the guy.  
  
Sister Angela stepped up to the boxer and examined his   
  
face, "Your bruises and swellings have gone away." She   
  
crossed herself, "The font IS a wonder! It adds strength to   
  
the holy water!"   
  
Ranma had a different interpretation, "Juusenkyo is in a   
  
mountain valley: It's on HIGH ground. It's full of SPRINGS,   
  
not ponds. The water isn't stored. It's replaced. And the   
  
extra water had to go SOMEWHERE. The accursed water SHOULD   
  
seep down and effect the animals and people in the land   
  
below. But it DOESN'T: The surrounding rock HAS to change   
  
the its ability to curse." It made sense to her. But she   
  
had to wonder whether, "Does it do more than neutralize?   
  
Can it REVERSE a curse?" Perhaps, because of its reaction   
  
with the blessed water?  
  
...A simpler explanation for what happened at Juusenkyo   
  
was that the water leaving the valley was too dispersed to   
  
have any effect. "No," Ranma shook her head. "Water will   
  
collect when it can. Some Juusenkyo water would trickle   
  
out."  
  
She at last noticed that the strange porous material of   
  
the font allowed the water inside to wet the outside, but   
  
kept it from leaking. She reasoned it slowed the water down   
  
until enough had collected behind it, and would THEN let it   
  
flow.  
  
"...And combining different spring water will not   
  
neutralize it. Pantyhose Taro proved that when he cursed   
  
his already cursed form from that "Spring of Drowned   
  
Octopus"." Maybe she COULD be a detective. Maybe...  
  
She moved towards the font, "...And as I proved that when   
  
water from "Spring of Drowned Swan" got splashed on MY   
  
cursed form...." She hesitated only for a second. How many   
  
times had she THOUGHT she'd found a cure. But she wouldn't   
  
know unless she tried. She dipped her hands in the holy   
  
water.   
  
As she reached around to wet her wings, she found that   
  
they had already disappeared.   
  
Sister Angela smiled, "It's a miracle!"   
  
Kosaku and the old ladies were confused. "I thought we   
  
are supposed to WANT to get our wings, Sister?"  
  
As happy as Ranma was to be rid of the wings, she was   
  
saddened that it hadn't cured her of her older curse. She   
  
was still a girl. (Just as Kosaku still had his old scars   
  
and nicks.) But there WAS one last bit of hope: "Sister,   
  
can I have some hot water? And THEN some cold?"  
  
///  
  
No, Ranma still changed into a girl. His only   
  
consolation was that he wasn't stuck as one. Hot water   
  
still made him a guy...and cold a girl. But he left with a   
  
bottle of the magic holy water. Perhaps Dr. Tofu could figure   
  
out how to make the stuff worked. Or, for the right price,   
  
Cologne. (And if he were DESPERATE enough, perhaps   
  
Happosai.)  
  
Out on the porch of the church, Sister Angela offered,   
  
"Are you sure I can't loan you a shirt?" The teen now had   
  
nothing on above the waist.   
  
Kosaku said, "You can have MINE. If you don't mind the   
  
sweat."   
  
Ranma said, "Er, no. Thanks anyway. It's no big deal, as   
  
long as I'm a guy." When he became a guy and his neck had   
  
thickened, the partially torn collar had finally ripped.   
  
And his widening body took care of the tape and pins. With   
  
Nothing to hold up the shirt, he had thrown the shirt away.   
  
He was now bare above the waist.  
  
A guy's voice sneered, "And how long will THAT be,   
  
Crossdresser." It was a Chinese-looking teen younger than   
  
Ranma in a shiny, green, scaled vest and armbands and   
  
balloon, silk pants.   
  
Sister Angela hadn't thought of that Ranma might change   
  
before he got home. She blushed.   
  
Ranma was prepared for Pantyhose Taro. He smiled as   
  
happily as her could, "Look at me, Pantyhose Taro: I'm   
  
CURED! I don't have wings, and I DON'T change into a girl   
  
any more!!" He pointed inside towards the font with his   
  
bottle of holy water, "You must never have touched that   
  
thing when it had water in it!" He returned his gaze to the   
  
boy, "But now it has, and it'll do the SAME to you." He   
  
made his smile as wicked as he could, "You'll be just an   
  
ordinary kid."  
  
Kosaku hadn't picked up on the fact that the youngster   
  
LIKED being able to become a monster, "I'll go get some   
  
water for him, Sister!"  
  
The arrogant boy snorted. But he turned and left, his   
  
young arrogance dented only by the speed he walked away.   
  
Sister Angela waited until the other stranger was out of   
  
sight before she told the pigtailed boy, "It's a sin to   
  
tell a lie. But I forgive you."   
  
Ranma asked, "Novice nuns can do that?"   
  
That's when it started to rain.   
  
///   
  
Akane stayed a couple of steps behind Ranma; this time,   
  
so she would know if the redhead tried to take off on her   
  
again. "...So when I spotted Pantyhose Taro's monster form   
  
flying back to that church on the hill. And that was how I   
  
found you."   
  
Ranma had barely been listening. It was over a kilometer,   
  
and Akane had said a lot of things. But she HADN'T made the   
  
comment Ranma was anticipating. It was like waiting for the   
  
other shoe to drop. "Okay, say it. Tell me how you've seen   
  
me wear all sorts of girl clothes, but you never expected   
  
to see ME dressed up like a nun." (Including the head   
  
coverings.) Yes, Sister Angela had loaned Ranma one of her   
  
old habits. (She didn't have civilian clothes.) And since   
  
it had rained on and off, Ranma had needed it. "But in case   
  
Pantyhose Taro is still around, we had to disguise me so he   
  
doesn't see I DO still change into a girl."   
  
Akane said, "I understand that. It gives the people at   
  
the church time to take the font some place safe from him."   
  
She'd even consented to wearing a disguise herself, a wide-  
  
brimmed hat and dark glasses with her school uniform. "And   
  
why should I care if you look like a nun? In fact, I think   
  
it's refreshing to see you in something that modest.   
  
Perhaps some of the nun's morality will rub off on you."   
  
Ranma said, "Is that just sneaky way of callin' me a   
  
pervert!?!" She still had the wine bottle with the water.   
  
" "Pervert"!?" Akane's tone had become suddenly serious,   
  
"Ranma! I just thought of something! You told me what   
  
happened. You had water splashed on you, and you got wings,   
  
just as Pantyhose Taro got an octopus added to HIS cursed   
  
form."   
  
Ranma said, "Yeah. So?"   
  
Akane hesitated, but she felt it HAD to be said, "So   
  
what happens when you DO return to Juusenkyo and find the   
  
spring of drowned young man? It, er, doesn't sound like it   
  
WOULD turn you into a full man. It sounds like it would   
  
instead, uh, well...."   
  
Ranma came to a halt, her face ashen.   
  
`  
  
The End  
  
`  
  
[Please be like Sister Angela and grant me a Takahashi for   
  
any mistakes I made. I am not a Catholic, either.]   
  
`  
  
[Kosaku Hatanaka and Sister Angela are the main character's   
  
Rumiko's manga series "One-Pound Gospel". Kosaku was a   
  
talented prize fighter that couldn't control his appetite.   
  
It lost him fights as he kept failing his weigh-ins, going   
  
UP in the weight divisions (from Fly-weight to Bantam to   
  
Feather, "and up and up". All while looking chiseled.). New   
  
to the area, Sister Angela made the mistake of thinking he   
  
was one of the needy and feeding him. Just before a big   
  
fight. He ended up becoming her personal mission.  
  
`  
  
[There is a good OAV of "One-Pound Gospel". But I don't   
  
think it has been dubbed in English, just subtitled. Nor   
  
available on DVD.] 


End file.
